If you have ever wanted to experience a transformation in your life, this article is written for you. I’m sharing a recent adventure that offered the opportunity to recognize what I most value. Discover the faraway river of transformation that takes you to a place where all else falls away.
How It Began
I could say my recent self-exploration journey began several months ago, when I signed up with an Alaskan guide company to float down the mighty Alsek River. In truth, this adventure was just one of many calls to check in and see if my life was aligned with my greatest dreams or was I allowing fear to guide my decisions.
We began our river journey in the Yukon, slowly made our way into Northern British Columbia and eventually crossed the general area of the Canada / USA border into Alaska, where funny enough, bald eagles greeted us. This primitive landscape, which began in the interior and stopped just short of the sea, promised spectacular views, adventure, glaciers, wildlife and rapids.
The personal transformation that unfolds along the way is an added bonus.
Getting There
It was about a two-day journey to the remote Alaska town where two guides and three paying passengers met up for quick introductions. We also double checked our gear list, passports, dry suits and other protection needed against the bugs, rain, waves, cold, and possible unplanned swim if you fell out of the boat.
We packed clothing options that offered many choices of layers for unpredictable weather. This included multiple coats, shirts, pants, socks, shoes, sunscreen, bug repellent, and your favorite unscented lotions and potions. All of this needed to fit in a dry bag that was light enough for each of us to shlep on and off the boat daily. We also had separate dry bags for sleeping gear and tents.
The guides managed the two big rafts, all the food we would eat in the next 13 days, water, the kitchen set up, their own gear and everything we would need on our journey into the wild and unknown. A satellite phone was packed in case of emergency, as cell service would become unavailable before we made it to the river.
The skills needed to be a good river guide are the obvious, reading the river and keeping us safe, but also rigging the boat and keeping everything dry, secure and balanced.
People skills are also a necessity as they are not just steering the boats.
On the day of departure, we met around 6:30 in the morning. One truck carried the two rafts and some gear. The other carried our group, and more supplies. We had access to our last flushing toilet, just after crossing into Canada.
Eventually we slowly drove down a four-wheel road that took us to the put in. Here we unloaded everything, and then the guides reloaded onto the boats. Finally, we began our adventure unsure of what exactly our days and nights would look and feel like.
The Group of Five
The five people on the trip each shared something magical that helped us easily connect, this gradually brought new insights and even shifted energy that offered personal healing.
One of the guides we nicknamed Captain Yeti because of his fondness for Yeti gear, the company that possibly used him for a model at one time. He was the youngest on the trip, a mere 42 years old. His humor and occasional bright clothing with tiger prints brought color to every camp.
Captain Yeti was our fearless trip leader, who smiled when he spoke of his wife and dog at home. His energy is like the water that bumps up against the muddy bank, always seeking a place to call home, mastering the technique of taking with him the powerful imprints of where he has been, storing the best in the layers that make up his thoughts, all to be shared when the time is right.
The other guide is a mostly retired swarthy boatman, whose quest for great adventure may never be satisfied. He has years of working on the river, where he has mastered finding great hikes, and always shares tales of past river trips that hint at behavior only experienced by those free of inhibitions.
The swarthy boatman is always quick to tell a joke, and he jerry rigs the best hot showers, with water heated up on the campfire. He is at a fork in the river of his life, deciding what adventures await him and who he will share his boat with.
One of the three passengers was a woman that brought laughter to every situation. Her political commentary was graphic and somehow fit into our conversations, even though we had no media or news for two weeks. I loved her Haikus, which she released like prayers for all to experience.
She comes across with strength and a little bite, but a gentle light shines through when no one is looking. This light is like a small stream, steadily gaining momentum, as it merges into a larger body of water that promises new adventures, only requiring her to let go and trust a new way of being.
The next guest was a woman who sported the best river clothing, always looking pulled together even in mud and rain. Her level of courage is enough to keep a small-town thriving. She has lived an adventurous life, being highly successful in a male dominated career, small in stature she carries the energy of a big ship that moves steadily thru the waves, nimbly avoiding anything that might slow her down. She’s now finding a way to move with grace and strength, picking up the pieces of her life where grief created unplanned diversions.
I’m the third paying passenger, actively saying, “yes” to adventures as they appear in my life. Much like the Swarthy Boatman, I am figuring out what I want my life journey to look and feel like. Part of me is in the rapids, wondering if it’s time to surrender and trust a partner, another part of me feels the churning energy of a strong current that is bringing up unfinished life stories. Can I make it through my emotional rapids with a relationship intact?
The Daily Rhythm
Each morning, we would wake up in our tents and decide how many layers of clothing was needed for our trek to the fire and coffee. We always knew if it was raining, or sunny before unzipping the tents. I usually had three upper body layers on, a hat, and two or three layers on the bottom. I wore one coat at night in my sleeping bag, using the other with my lifejacket for a pillow.
We would learn the plan for the day while eating breakfast. Most days I was able to meditate outside, sometimes in my tent, other times floating down the river.
It took over an hour to break down the tents, kitchen area and the simple bathroom, affectionately called the groover. We could pee in the bushes but used a metal container for other human waste. This container was loaded back on the boats daily. The content was eventually disposed of at the end of the trip.
Once on the river we would learn of geological facts and the history of recent changes on the river. It was not uncommon to see where landslides had created natural dams and lakes. This caused changes in the flow and route of the river. The cliffs are unbelievably tall and the river wide, making the rafts look very small. It would be easy to feel insignificant in this great landscape, but somehow it didn’t have that effect on us.
We stopped most days to bundle up firewood, which would be strapped to the end of the rafts. The large, haphazard looking collection of wood combined with the very wild landscape reminded me of a National Geographic expedition.
We also stopped to get fresh water from clear running creeks or waterfalls. The river was muddy looking and filled with silt, leaving a gritty feeling on everything it touched.
We usually pulled to the shore for lunch, and on the best days, this allowed us to explore a new area by foot. Eventually we would arrive at our campsite. Here we would be shown where the fire, groover, handwashing and kitchen would be set up. Everyone took part in carrying the gear up to the communal site. The bear spray and bug repellent were always nearby.
We usually saw moose, bear and wolf prints in the sand or mud, where we set up. One day we saw wolverine and otter tracks.
Our days always ended with us by the fire, dodging smoke and mosquitoes. We would connect by sharing stories, personal challenges and our desire for a world that values nature and peace.
Sometimes the guides would tell stories of mishaps involving grizzly bears, or boats flipping in the rapids with dire results. These stories mostly came after we made it through the questionable campsite, or the particular rapid mentioned.
The daily routine and recognizable changing waterway, worked in unison, to help the group of five release worries and unnecessary thoughts.
The Highlights
Does personal transformation take place in one moment, or is it a series of events that finally free us of the burdens in our mind and life? As we continued our journey on the Alsek, it was easy for me to see the similarity in the changes occurring on the landscape, and shifts that humans experience as we move through life.
Within the constant movement of energy, the days and nights almost blended together. There literally wasn’t a moment that didn’t offer a view that by itself, was inspirational. Having a steady stream of powerful images was almost too much to take in. I sometimes found it difficult to appreciate one singular waterfall, or mountain for its own unique greatness.
I’ll share a few of my favorite memories from the trip of transformation, down the Alsek River.
One day we made it to our campsite pretty early in the afternoon. There were some lakes nearby that we planned to take a quick dip in. This is basically stripping off your clothing, jumping into the glacier blue water, rinsing off and quickly dressing. It’s always surprising how warm 50 degrees feels after being in the freezing water.
On that particular day, a grizzly was enjoying the water that we were going to swim in. He slowly moved away from the lake and took one last look at us from above, before we took his place in the water.
Another one of my favorite days was when I hiked up Goat Heard trail with the Swarthy Boatman. We took our boots off to cross mud and streams, and scrambled up rocks, and bush whacked up the mountain side. It was the perfect spot to surprise a bear, so we made lots of noise and had our bear spray in our hands.
Near the top, mountain goat hair covered the bushes. The white hair was draped like strands of tinsel on a Christmas tree, other times it was found clumped up like cotton balls.
The views were incredible. We could see the river, lake, a huge glacier, icebergs and far off in the distance you could make out our tents.
I also loved the day it was warm enough to go barefoot and just wear a pair of shorts after swimming in a lake.
Another one of my favorite memories was taking a hot shower in the sun. The streams of water from the nozzle were very fine and created a rainbow when I looked up at the sun through the water. I waited over a week for this shower. The joy of rinsing off dirt and mud, while smelling shampoo and conditioner will not be easily forgotten.
Another day we had a big rapid to go through. We wore helmets, and dry suits in case our plan was challenged. The guides scouted the river before deciding the safest way through the rocks and rapids. For whatever reason, I wanted to brush my teeth before we began our path through the churning water. My request was denied, but I later learned that there is a saying, “clean teeth, clean line.” Maybe this is why the guides always brushed their teeth in the boats, just before we started the day.
One part of the river has never been successfully run by a boat, and probably less than 100 kayaks have made it through Turn Back Canyon. A helicopter portage is needed to continue down the Alsek. This requires a helicopter to arrive at the preplanned time and place. It takes several trips to get the gear, rafts and people down the river, about ½ mile. Everything but the people, is carried by a big net suspended below the helicopter.
The day before this portage we had the opportunity to request things flown into camp. Frequently people ask for a specific food or even alcohol. We requested pretzels, fresh organic greens and I personally requested hair conditioner. I was excited about cleaning the silt, smoke and grime from my body and hair. There was a little harassment that went along with my request, but one of the guides enjoyed my shampoo and conditioner:)
The overall energy of the landscape was constantly shifting and redirecting; sometimes roughly tossing trees, moving boulders and setting huge pieces of ice free. Other times, like in the middle of the night, everything feels still and protected in the summer sky that never completely darkens.
Take Out
On our last day, we were up at 5:00 and on the river by 7:00 AM. The morning was clear, and the views were spectacular. The guides moved the boats through a lake filled with icebergs from the nearby glacier. I didn’t take many pictures on the trip, but the morning light hitting the ice and water created spectacular moments that even an unskilled photographer can capture.
The lake joined a river, where we stayed mostly near the left shore. Around 10:00 we made it to where the boats were taken out of the river. Everything was unloaded and placed on trailers attached to four wheelers. A local family transported us up to a landing strip in a field of grass and wild strawberries. Next a small plane took all the gear and made a second trip back for the guides.
Another small plane took the three paying passengers to a very remote airport that could eventually fly us to Juneau, Alaska. Here it’s easy to catch a ferry or flight in the direction you call home.
Change After Trip
One person came out mentally surfing all the choices in his life. At times he dreams of letting it all go to see what sticks in a crash landing. Other times he wants to focus on one thing and carry it close to his heart forever. This wasn’t a huge shift for this person, but the reckoning of his life choices are felt now more than ever.
Another person discovered a new way for her grief to flow. She was able to release some pressure that had built up because of self-imposed timelines.
Another person felt the call for change even stronger but remains unsure of what his life will look like. He is carefully scouting his personal rapids, wanting to make the right choice for the best life. A sweet adventure, full of potential, is waiting for him if he can simply say “yes.”
Yet another felt the pull of something new and wonderful. The Universe is asking her to not fear the new channel that has been created. She needs to bravely release what is not serving her, as she enters this new energetic flow.
I took away gratitude for the laughter and intimacy that developed over thirteen days. The river also reminded me of my gratitude for what occurs naturally in our world, be it emotions or a raw landscape.
All though, sometimes I wish I could call in a helicopter to portage me to the safe side of uncertainty.
Exit
Wherever you are in life, I encourage you to be touched by the wild and untamed. There is an adventure calling to each of us. We only need to bravely say, “yes”, and commit to the journey that will free you from the distractions of life.
Thank you for reading this, and I wish you peace and joy as you move through life’s choices.
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