How Changing the Perspective of Your Past Can Help You Live Better Now
If you are old enough to vote, chances are, you have accumulated life perspectives and stories that impact your current expectations of life. Occasionally doing a life review is healthy. It’s like cleaning out the closet of your beliefs, keeping what fits, and gleefully throwing out what you no longer need.
Keep reading and discover if changing your perspective of the past, can help you live a better life now.
Twenty years ago, to the day, I was flying into Anchorage, Alaska. I had an eleven month old daughter and a three year old daughter sitting next to me. I was excited and a little nervous about the next chapter of my life. My focus was providing for my daughters. As a single parent I planned on overcoming any, and all challenges on my path.
I think my mindset of hard work and challenges cast a deep shadow on the life I created in the 49th state.
I have decided to clean the closet in my mind. I’m doing a quick life review of my last twenty years. A large factor is because my husband still spends much of his time in Alaska. In fairness to our relationship, I need to let go of the challenge mindset.
There is no coincidence in life. I received a call this morning from a client struggling with her emotions. Her youngest child moved out this week. It is perfect timing for her to check in on her belief system and receive guidance for moving forward.
Here are some easy tips to reframing (cleaning up your perceptions) on your life experience.
1. When doing a life review, pay attention to what you focus on. For some people it’s easy to focus on the struggles and not the accomplishments and good experiences.
Sometimes I find myself reflecting on what I didn’t like, not the accomplishments of the past 20 years. The past challenges are not part of my current life. Focusing what I have created with my family is much more satisfying.
My client can be helped by releasing her past mindset of believing she needed to fight for her survival and even love. Now she can focus on the beautiful independent life she has the opportunity to enjoy. Her fight is over. She has successfully raised independent adult children. She also has a bright career path.
2. Is there part of your life story that you have given too much attention and power to?
In my mindset of raising and protecting children in a challenging environment, I helped create some stressful situations. Our family life was focused on work and overcoming obstacles. Luckily this mindset has shifted in the last ten years. Recognizing the current ease in my life, will help me recreate my Alaska story, or at least my relationship with the last 20 years of my family life.
My client looks back on her life with the idea of loss, hard work and loneliness. She also has experienced a beautiful shift in her possibilities, is now making friends, and has created a support net work. She can also view her adult children as successful. A practice of sending her children love, no strings attached will be life changing.
Notice that both my client and I will be focusing only on our personal perceptions, not what other people are thinking or doing. We can’t change the action and beliefs of others. Only our individual expectations create our personal world experiences.
3. It can also help to recognize that our life and even relationships can hold a diverse choice of emotions and feelings. Nothing is all bad, or all good, unless we make it that way. Some of our journey was enjoyable, easy and other aspects, not so much. It’s valuable to recognize the hardships and look at what came out of them. Just as it is important to celebrate the good times and successes. Holding onto hardships is not a requirement of life.
In my personal story I had many good times and accomplishments in Alaska. I got married and together we raised our daughters and even had a third child. I also experienced a major spiritual transformation in my life. These are what I am keeping in my life review. I’m letting go of the struggles and disappointments.
My client put herself through college while being a single mom with several young children. She now has a degree, owns a home and has the rest of her life to create loving relationships with herself and others. Focusing on her accomplishments that came out of her hard work will leave less room for staying in the pain.
4. When looking at your life, recognize that each person had their own individual experience and story. Important people in your life may have done things or said things, but it wasn’t about you. They were reacting to their personal perceptions of life.
In my story I can get lost in my mindset of not feeling well in Alaska. If I look at the wholeness of my family, this experience was not just about me. We were all impacted by a variety of mindsets about wellness. I celebrate that we each have choices to create lifestyles where we thrive.
My client had some people in her life that were unkind and not loving. This was not about her. She chose a partner that didn’t know how to love. The lack of love vibrated thru the family. This can be changed now. She is not with that partner any longer and she can now create new loving relationships.
5. You are now at ground zero of creating your life. What do you want to take with you? Start by creating a loving story. Look back and carefully select the memories and mindset you are bringing forward. It is time to let go of the heavy past and create new dreams.
If there is something you are not ready to let go of, ask yourself why?
In my personal story, celebrating where each one of my family members is on their individual journey is what I’m keeping; but I’m not ready to let go of the dark Alaskan winters. This is an easy fix, I won’t visit Alaska when it is dark and cold.
My client is having a hard time with feeling rejected by her adult children. To help her feel good now, she can remember her children as young and loving. She can also focus on loving and respecting herself. As this self respect and love fills up her life, it will spill over into all her relationships. This might even help her heal the past in ways she never expected.
As I leave Alaska and fly home to Arizona with my son, I think about how much my life has changed. Not only am I flying in the opposite direction, I have released my idea that life is a struggle. I am no longer holding on tightly to my children and the belief I am solely responsible for their wellness. The landscape of my life is completely different from twenty years ago. I basically am living my dream life, with my family by my side.
My toes are just touching the beginning on my next twenty years. I feel the sweet dreams and beautiful adventures calling me. My loved ones are near. There will be new family members to welcome and both personal and family successes to celebrate. I am the creator of my journey, and I love watching my family create their beautiful, healthy life stories.
If you are ready to change your mindset and create a life that welcomes your dreams, contact me at Pollywirum.com. We can explore spiritual and life coaching, intuitive workshops, intuitive readings and much more.
Celebrate what you bring to the communal dance.
Allow yourself to easily shift and change as your inner workings create new experiences to fall in love with. Some experiences are just glanced at. They are not meant for this moment. The sweet energy of potential stays with us, until we are ready to provide our full attention to what brings light to our experience.
Other thoughts come into our sphere with such power, we have no choice but to yield to the pull of the love that will be discovered as we unwrap an expanded version of self.
In this moment we have that which is calling strongly to us and that which is ready to be released. We also have beautiful thoughts, dreams and experiences just waiting for our minds to surrender and receive.