How often are you touched by pain or suffering? Does all pain lead to suffering? Does each of us have the capacity to manage how we experience pain and suffering? This blog is written to shine light on the complexities of pain and suffering found in our human experience, without offering medical advice.
The Birthplace of This Blog
I was lying face down on a treatment table, feeling the tiny needles poke through my skin. As he worked, the acupuncturist shared his observation of how many people experience chronic pain on a regular basis. He also mentioned the flip side; people that have occasional twinges of pain and seek instant relief.
Should we expect to live pain free, or should we anticipate the eventual experience of pain and suffering? Is there an amount of pain that falls into the normal range of a healthy balanced life?
I think it’s important to broaden our query to include both physical and emotional pain. When the mind is suffering, it certainly impacts the physical body. Many people believe that you can trace the root of most physical illnesses back to a disturbance and suffering in the mind.
Worry and anxiety increase stress hormones that cause inflammation and can eventually lead to diseases, like high blood pressure, joint pain, digestive issues and much more. We also know that chronic physical pain can all bring emotional suffering.
So, the question is, which came first, the mental distractions, suffering or physical pain? Is my torn rotator cuff a product of my mental upset? Of course, I have a story that makes me think about the link between my mental upset and physical pain.
The night before my last birthday, I got into a heated discussion with my newish partner. It was connected to an irrational fear I have in our relationship. This unease lurks in the shadows of our conversations when I am tired or feeling out of sorts.
On my birthday we went camping at a lake. It was a fun weekend, but at one point, I slipped hard on a rocky ledge that was covered with mud and moss. My shoulder took most of the impact.
For eight weeks, I pretty much lived my life and kept thinking my shoulder would get better, ignoring the pain, until it was keeping me awake at night. An MRI showed I had a big fat tear in my rotator cuff.
How many of us choose to not explore the source of our pain? Are we afraid of the changes we need to make? Maybe we don’t want to look at the deeper reason why we are experiencing a form of stubborn pain.
Currently I am doing many things to avoid surgery, like acupuncture, PT and occasional massages.
Here is where I think my injury is an interesting link to what comes first, physical or mental pain. I was getting an intuitive massage; when the therapist got to my shoulder, she asked, “what man really pissed you off?” The funny thing is, the weekend of my birthday and rotator cuff injury, I had been upset with my partner. Coincidence, maybe, probably, but I believe there is a thread of Universal energy linking everything together.
What if I had fully released my disappointment and anger before we began our weekend getaway? Would this action have prevented my shoulder injury? It certainly makes me want to pause more, and look at what feelings, emotions, fears and beliefs I need to let go of.
What Is Pain?
Pain is an unpleasant sensation; it can be physical or mental ranging from a slight discomfort to extreme unforgiving sensation that becomes unbearable to experience.
Pain can be positive. When you touch something hot, you remove your hand to decrease the damage to your skin. Another example is pushing your body so hard, there is physical discomfort. This can bring you the reward of overcoming a challenge or obstacle.
When Does Pain Become Suffering?
Pain becomes suffering when it enters your mind and begins to disrupt your thoughts. When we cut our finger, we feel the pain, wash the injury and cover it with a Band-Aid. This Band-Aid is not just covering the problem. This Band-Aid is protecting the wound, so you can get on with your day, knowing a healing is occurring. You might not know how your body closes and nurtures the wound, leaving a scar, but you trust the process. You have experienced it many times.
Our mind has a plan of action to remedy the situation. This is calming and reassuring.
Consider more significant types of pain that take over your thinking, because there is seemingly no solution. Your stress level goes up; you can’t see a way out; this can lead to suffering.
What Is Suffering?
Suffering is when our thoughts swim in a circle thinking about the pain in our lives, where it feels impossible to experience relief from what’s bothering you.
The word “suffering” holds an incredible amount of powerful energy. It is not an expression that I use casually. Suffering is a pain that reaches into every moment of your day and night. Suffering can lead to despair, where it is difficult to imagine a way out of intense torment.
Most of us have experienced this anguish at some point in our lives, often it is connected to a loss, a loved one or anything that is being removed from our world. One of my greatest moments of suffering was experiencing a miscarriage and not having any where to turn for support.
Suffering can also begin with a physical pain that eats away at your freedom of moving your body without pain.
I believe experiences that bring true suffering into our world are always impactful but can also lead to an expanded life view and a beautiful healing.
Healing Options of Both Pain and Potential Suffering
The first step of experiencing pain is assessing the damage done. Decide if this is an emergency. That includes both physical and mental crises. If it’s an emergency, seek appropriate help.
Most of us see medical treatment as a viable part of healing. They provide answers and usually a step-by-step plan to follow. This can be enhanced by other forms of self-care.
Resting, providing time and space for healing can be very positive. Self-care during painful times can help decrease stress levels.
Having a regular meditation practice is a great thing to turn to in times of pain and stress. It will take you to a place of calm and break the cycle of stressful thoughts circling your mind.
Visualizing your injury being healed is a proven way to bring positive results. If you can imagine what your pain looks like, see it becoming smaller and being replaced by healthy tissue or thoughts. Some people give their pain a certain color and see another color as healing. Spend as much time as you can visualizing the pain growing smaller and eventually disappearing.
A practice of deep breathing focused slow inhales, and longer exhales can decrease your stress level and thus decrease your pain. Deep breathing has been shown to help regulate your central nervous system.
Spirituality and faith can be a huge factor in decreasing stress and pain. This can be traditional religion, or metaphysical practices of asking your angels for healing. It’s all good:)
There are many traditional and nontraditional practices to help decrease pain and suffering. You get to decide what works best for you.
Just like we get regular preventative care, check in with your body and mind and see if you need to release any behaviors, thoughts, beliefs that aren’t serving you.
Practices To Decrease the Experience of Potential Suffering
Self-awareness is a huge asset in managing pain. Being aware and even comfortable with our feelings and emotions help us have more control and understanding of our reactions when a painful situation occurs. Each time we navigate something that is uncomfortable, we get better at handling pain. Every experience is an opportunity for us to become more adept at coping. Of course, this doesn’t mean we want to experience pain all the time, but our ability to cope with discomfort can help us feel more empowered and less fearful.
Our ability to manage pain decreases the potential of suffering.
Recognizing that we all feel and experience pain, and even suffering differently, is important. What worked for your friend or sister, may or may not work for you. Be compassionate with yourself and know that you can’t always choose the way pain or suffering comes into our life, but we have some control of how it touches us.
Moving Through Life and Finding Balance
What practices can you shift to decrease your physical and emotional pain? One way I manage stress in my life is being outdoors, most days I have several hours of hiking on trails. It is easy for me to slip out of balance and do too much, which leads to joint pain. I’m aware of this, so I’m practicing yoga and doing less miles on the trails.
I also know we all have a streak of what other people would consider crazy, but it is who we are. So where are you experiencing pain, and or suffering and is it time to alleviate the discomfort? Can you shift the energy by simply bringing balance into your life, or do you need help from an outside source?
Next time you are feeling out of sorts, I encourage you to explore some of the many different options available to managing stress, pain and suffering. Think of it as bolstering your aptitude for wellness.
Lastly, live your life, do what brings you joy, and periodically check in and see if you can release any stressful thoughts or actions.
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