Grief and Joy

Searching for hiking near our hotel in Scottsdale, we discovered a little trail head. Walking up the dirt path I heard dogs barking and wondered about the houses. They were mostly concealed by trees.  The trail led us to a junction of several more peaks and valleys. We both love the expansive feeling found in the sun and open land.

As the year progressed we decided that having a home in Arizona was in fact a good fit for us. This is in part because physically I thrive in a warm climate. It was also a good time to welcome some change into our lives. We began exploring homes for sale online, not really knowing anything about the area.

Last Wednesday we landed in Phoenix, with a list of houses to look at. Our first day we looked at seven or eight. We loved the possibilities each offered. One of the homes happened to be on the trail we explored a year ago. Of course we recognized the coincidence and celebrated the idea that we might be getting guided to a very special home.

On Friday we decided to hike the trail before we toured our favorite home a second time. As we started up the trail we noticed a lady sitting on a rock, close to the home we were interested in. She lived in the area and knew some history of our potential house. The builder began his career in Sedona. This felt good to my husband and I both. The home and land also felt good. We decided to make an offer. Our dream was even closer.

On Saturday we were still waiting to hear if our offer was accepted. My husband went for a run on the familiar trail. The lady from the previous day was on the same rock. He learned more about the area. My husband also discovered that the mystery woman shared the same career and name as his mother, who had transitioned years ago. This coincidence was not overlooked by either us. We still had not heard if our offer was accepted, but we did feel like we had help from above.

​I am radiating with excitement and joy at the possibilities of experiencing life in Arizona and Alaska. This is a dream come true!  I am surrounded by people and dogs that I love. I have pulled together what I need in my life to thrive.

My joy for life is expansive.  I want to share it with others.

Here is where I struggle a bit. I imagine the happiness that I feel radiates and creates a shift, an opening for love, with all I encounter. Yet, sometimes I wonder if I should dim my joy. Maybe, I should not draw attention to my happiness, when others are suffering.

I recall my incredible grief when I lost my older brother to suicide. My sadness was not just for losing a brother. It was grief for a relationship that didn’t happen. It was grief for a childhood that didn’t offer many celebrations.

The beauty of this is, I have discovered peace and joy are always waiting for each of us to call in to our lives. Grief might feel as though you are having to physically crawl out of a dark hole. It might feel endless. But through it all, your loved ones and The Universe are with you holding the light.

On the recent Arizona trip my son and I were near a juice and coffee bar. I noticed a woman who appeared unsettled, sitting by herself.   I also intuitively saw the energy of a young man trying to get her attention. I watched her. I felt the young man’s urgency of wanting to communicate with her. I was torn. I stood up to approach her. I sat back down. It was very difficult for me to ignore the pull of the young man’s energy and his need to communicate.

I approached the woman. I asked if she believed in life after death. She responded she was open to it. I asked her if she had lost a young man in her life. I shared there was a young man that wanted her to know he was with her. He wanted her to know much he loved her. I explained he was placing his hands on her shoulders. He wanted so much for her to hear and feel him.

The woman shared she had lost her brother three weeks ago. I shared a little bit more and offered a hug. Her grief was very present. Her brother’s love was also present. She cried, and said she needed to hear his message. I don’t often approach people like this; but I am glad I did that day.

I find comfort in knowing our loved ones are with us. I also find comfort knowing, that we can always connect to peace and joy again.  My belief is we should celebrate and share our joy however it shows up. Let it radiate and touch those in need of light and love. Let us weave more love, light and joy into the fabric of everyone’s life.

Blessings,
Polly