The Elements of Kindness

I have been blessed with many moments of kindness by complete strangers. Most of them simple, but they stay with me. I often reflect on them, and hope that I have also shared kindness with those unknown to me.

Roughly thirty years ago I was working in a bicycle shop in Sacramento, California. I loved it! I had eclectic coworkers and I received discounts on bikes and gear. After two years, I was ready to move on to a new adventure. I wanted to ride a mountain bike from Sacramento to Moab, Utah. My route was drawn on a map and I purchased the camping gear needed.

I was young and my entire life plan only took me to Moab; I was open to what the Universe offered me.

The trek was going to begin in June. I chose the roads least traveled, combined with some of our National Parks. I was planning a solo adventure, when a frequent customer, at the bike store suggested he join me. I don’t remember thinking it was either good or bad; just a different plan.

We picked our start date. Packed our paniers and slowly pedaled out of Sacramento. Our days were scarce of people. It was hot, dry and frequently windy. The route took us thru California, Nevada and into the four corners before heading to Moab, Utah. Along the way, Jeff decided he was no longer having fun. We were camping in Great Basin National Park, when he unexpectedly hitched a ride out of the park with some of my gear and a camera.

The morning of his great escape, we had made plans to meet at the bottom of a long hill. I coasted down the hill and waited… and waited. Eventually a park ranger came by. He knew of our plan. He also saw Jeff climb into a truck, with his bike. I never saw Jeff again.

I was now traveling solo; and not disappointed. I was however, dispirited that I had to pedal back up the long hill and reorganize my gear, before I could begin again. This meant a delayed start and much more time in the intense sun of Nevada.

The ranger offered me the opportunity to stay with him and a friend, one night. This allowed me to reorganize, refuel and rest before I started on my new adventure. I still remember his kindness. He helped me navigate a negative situation, and I got a rest day.  

I can easily remember acts of kindness from strangers. I don’t remember any acts of unkindness from strangers. Certainly they occurred, they just didn’t hit home. They didn’t leave a mark. Is this selective forgetfulness some strange phenomenon that protects our heart and our connection to humanity?

There is a distinct difference in the acts of kindness with strangers versus people we know. If we don’t have a history, we have no prior connection. The kindness is a beautiful act standing alone.

What are the elements of kindness? I believe kindness is composed of a pause, observation, courage, compassion, and an open heart. We recognize the potential connection with another and show respect to another. Namaste.

When we are kind, our hearts are wide open. We have paused and taken the time to observe. Compassion guides us to reach out and connect. We both feel and respect the open heart connection.

Perhaps the unkind acts are not remembered because if the heart is not opened, a connection was not made.

If a person is acting unkind; there is no open heart to make a connection with. The unkindness has no place to leave a mark. With this point being recognized; we do remember the unkind acts of those we love, because our heart is open in anticipation of love. When unkindness finds the way to an open heart forgiveness is the miracle.

Is it possible to practice only kindness in life? What would we need to do? What would our life feel like?

We can live in a world of kindness and open heart experiences. It begins with each of us.

The first step is creating and living in an environment where we feel safe. Practice meditation and prayer. These help you pause, observe and live with an open heart. Be kind to yourself, this also keeps your heart open. Create a life that has open spaces. This means you have time for solitude. You have time for ease.

Kindness also requires a brave heart. Be willing to reach out to someone or something. Fear doesn’t rule a kind person’s heart. Be willing to experience compassion and set another free from their pain. Recognize their heart and your heart contain the same light and connection; we all do.

Our lives move much slower in a kind world. We observe more, speak less. We are fearless and compassionate. We celebrate all moments of grace.

The beauty of this is, we each have the ability to live in a world of gentleness in this moment. We don’t need to wait for a miracle or a shift; the miracle and shift is waiting for us.

On a side note: This summer I’m off for another adventure. I don’t have it mapped out. I’m not sure who is joining me. I’m open to the Universe. I will blog about it.